4 years

goodbye

7 letters with so much weight to them

goodbye

i’ve said i’ve made peace but is that a lie?

a lie i try to hide behind?

convince myself it was all in my mind

that you never died and everything is fine

but if thats true why do i keep crying

have all these tears i hide behind

put on a smile and tell the world that i’m fine but inside i’m dying 

my souls on fire

because the one thing i most desire

is impossible like trying to cross a bridge on a wire

but under the wire is a blazing fire 

and it keeps growing higher and higher 

and i’m so tired 

it’s getting dire

i’m down to the wire

i feel like it’s time to fucking retire

this life that i’m living just isn’t ideal

i’m asleep at the wheel

waiting for hell to swallow me like i was its meal

there is no appeal 

i’m no member of royalty so nobody kneel

my life’s an ordeal

i’m wishing i could just go to sleep

to not hear a peep

nothing to do except count the sheep

but you have to always, look before you leap

or before you know it you’re stuck neck deep

in the pile of sheep

and the only way out is for you to compete 

don’t call me conceited

but i won’t be defeated 

by these demons disguised as sheep

who haunt the streets while the kids are asleep

i’m not a deadbeat

and it’s time to get back on my feet

the only way to heal is stop trying to conceal

the pain that’s inside because it’s so fucking real

because it’s been four years and i still cannot feel

anything since you were stuck by an automobile 

at 16 years old 

the world turned really cold

because you had a warmth that was brighter than gold

but lo and behold

i’m out of control

looking for any piece of you i can hold

and this story’s getting kind of old 

but your body’s gone cold

because you’ll only ever be 16 years old